Sunday 25 June 2006

All world should go to hell!!

I feel so detached these days.. Like i've got nothing left to do in this damn world.. I've got to do atleast 10 things.. yet i dont feel any inclination to do them.. i've missed last coulpe o dance classes too.. and daily i call up my tutor ( who's teaching me ceramic work on flower pots) to tell her i've not yet completed the task i was supposed to complete last wednesday.. I've not started preparing for my placement, all my yahoogroup mails are filled with ppl sending company papers.. I dont knwo wat to do.. i dont even feel like crying.. all i feel is numbness..
Just a lost soul with nowhere to go and nothing to do.. Today i called up 7 ppl to talk to and none of them was free.. :( then i started working with ceramic in which i lost interest within 5 minutes.. i trod in my balcony for a long time.. wanting something to ease my nerves.. i've never smoked in my life but then i wanted to.. like ppl use to do in movies.. like my father do when he is nervous..
I dont know wat to do.. i just dont know.. And i dont care!!
Saturday 24 June 2006


Now here i am starting a story.. I have not edited it after typing and i dun have much time right now.. Its just raw..


Today was her birthday.. her 18th one.. The most important for her.. She woke up on hearing mother singing "Happy birthday Shikha".. She quickly got ready.. chossing a bright red coloured salwar kameez... She was happy today.. very happy.. She was 18 today.. EIGHTEEN.. She was waiting for this day to come since she was 16.. studying in 11th grade and blindly in love with Ansh.. He was the most handsome boy in their school... Being a gunda did not bother her.. She was blinded with his love..
After school she went on to study in a college.. whereas he started managing his father's business.. He couldnot get admission into a good college since his marks were way below average.. But they continued their relationship.. their love.. by secret meetings.. away from her parent's vying eyes.. She knew her parents would never agree to let her marry ansh.. So she waited for her 18th birthday.. when she could marry without asking her parents...
That was the actual reason for her happiness today.. She was going to get married today in a temple.. everything was already arranged by Ansh and his frens.. She just needed to reach there in time.. Butterflies churned up in her stomach.. Excitement and anticipations of her first night were accupying her mind all through the way..
She got married simply.. without consent or knowledge of their parents.. Both of them now were relieved for everything went without any disruption.. They went back home.. first went to Shikha's home.. Nervously she buzzed the bell.. Her mom opened it, knowing it would be shikha and everyone else waited in drawing room with a cake and 18 burning candles..
"Shikhaaaaaa" Screamed her mom after seeing the sindoor on her forehead.. She just kept looking at her and the man who accompanied her.. Her father rushed outside.. "what happened?".. He too saw shikha and just stood beside her mother.. speechless..
"Papa, I.. I am sorry for all this.. please meet Ansh.. i married him.. i hope you wont be angry on me.. i just had to do this".. Her father moved towards her.. She too moved toward him, to hug him.. and expecting to be hugged back.. Right there, right then a voice echoed through her home.. He slapped her.. hard.. "Why? Why did you do this?".. She could not answer.. What could she say anyway.
All her relatives were present there.. watching the whole drama.. A quick wedding was planned with everyone invited.. They did not want their girl to go to her in-laws without a proper vidaii..
She came to her new home.. full with hopes of future.. hopes of a blessed life.. hopes of a happy family..
As soon as all people from her new home left.. Ansh's mother, Rekha, called her and saw her from tip to toe.. like examining a new washing machine for her home.. she was not happy.. Not at all happy.. He wanted her son to marry a girl from their business associate's daughter.. she would have brought a lot of dowry.. whereas Shikha brought nothing. She was in her same red salwar kameez.. Her parents though wealthy, did not want to give her any part of the money they had collected for her marriage.. She married without asking them so they argued she should not be given any thing. that was all her fault.. Shikha did not even care.. but Rekha did.. Her mother-in-law minded it a lot.. Why shouldnt she.. she often dreamt of the money her son will bring on his marriage.. Now all her dreams were slashed by this girl..
Monday 19 June 2006

Mausam hai suhana..

Hey ppl, is it raining in ur part of the world too?
If yes then isnt it soooo romantic.. so wonderful.. i woke up at 5 in the morning to go for a jog.. though its still raining and i din go.. but um glad i wake up then.. it was so lovely out there.. like innocence at its best.. watching a pigeon-couple cozying into small place out of the reach of water was a wonder :) and seeing children hopping onto the puddles of water on the road brought back so many memories.. wen i was a kid and commuted to school by a school bus.. same scene happened almost every july :) and once wen i get back the streets were water-jammed.. it reached upto thighs of my small body.. i waited on a house's steps where my bus dropped me for someone to come n fetch me home... but no one came.. i think my mom expected me to return home on my own like ordinary days.. i was on the verge of tears when no one came for about 15 minutes.. lol.. vaise i was a brave girl.. cos i did came home on my own.. i was dead scared that i'll find a snake in water.. n u know i din even told my mom i was scared.. next day one of my fren told me she was scared but din went home alone.. then i bragged so much abt me going alone... i think u might know how a child brags.. so that was wat i did.. now it seems ll so childish.. :)
Friday 9 June 2006

whats your hobby??

In our so busy schedules, we always find some things to do.. atleats i do.. :) there r so many things to do, right? people have many interests.. to as boring as listening to rafi songs or as exciting as climbing mountains.. as different as collecting various shaped kiddie-erasers or as mundane as reading books.. as costly as collecting gold coins or as cheap as playing in the streets.. as informative as researching history or as dumb as gossiping.. as magical as capturing moments by photography or as real as learning martial arts .. as intricate as craft-work or as simple as drying flowers in old books..

I have many interests in life.. painting, sketching, making paper flowers, reading books, glass paintings, ceramic modelling, collecting earrings, making greetings cards, dancing, jogging, meditating, collage making, collecting stones- this is a bit weird i know.. but i love to collect various stones.. even the dull ones from rivers.. :D collecting quotes/articles from differnt ppl and different genre.. solving puzzles.. then shopping (specially window shopping :D) .. taking snaps from my mobile.. writing stories.. i guess i might be missing one or two more..

i like doing various things in life and probably thats wat makes me going in life and i do have something to do besides studying.. :) and i take pride in saying i can do so many things efficiently.. :)
Saturday 3 June 2006

One of many Tags.... The "S" Thing

i've been tagged by Ricky. He gave me letter S I have to write 10 words beginning with that letter, including an explanation of what those words mean to me and why.

Sleep - I love a good nights sleep and atleast 10hrs at stretch :).. though i seldom get it wen um in my hostel.. nd these days um sleeping up for the days i've lost my sleep :) :)

Sirname - Well my Sirname starts with S.. and sirname itself starts with S.. lol..

Salsa - Well its the most cutest couple dance.. i learned some basic steps in my normal dance class.. but starting this sunday um going for a proper salsa class.. though my partner is going to be my younger brother :) and i'll have to wear heels to the dnce class n my bro will have to wear formal dress to the class..

Sunday - Mostly ppl think sunday as fun-day.. for me it always was the most boring day.. no dance class and not even papa at home.. his holiday is on wednesday.. which is today :) Though i like to paint sometimes on sunday.. bot khaali time hota hai us din..

Skirt - I love to wear skirts... though my family wont allow me to wear those short ones.. so i wear the longer ones :) and they r anytime better in scorching heats of delhi..

Surprises - Well, There is no life without a healthy does os suprises mixed.. And i love to have them in my life.. Atleast they make life a bit more mysterious :)

Shopping - Tell me one person who doesnt like shopping :) and um no exception..

Sharbat - Best thing to have in summer :) be it roohafza.. rasna.. ghar ka bana badaam ka sharbat.. or shikanji.. everything is soo good :)

Sky - I love to watch sky especially at dawn n dusk... when u can see various colors and shades in the sky..

Scoop of icecream - I am crazy about icecreams.. though i eat them in moderation cos um trying to lose some weight.. but still anyone can put a smile on my lips by offering me an icecream.. n my fav ones being chocolate chips icecream.. also called "21 love" in the old nirulas.. :)

So thats about it.. all those who want to take up this tag.. leave me a line n i'll give u a letter :)