Sunday 24 September 2006

Life hurts..

Sometimes just a simple phrase said by someone, heard somewhere works its way into the deepset part of the heart and it hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. And nothing can be done. Except to wonder what to do and see around to get comfort. Then this feeling to get comfort, to feel cared for becomes a craving. A craving so great that it becomes out of control. The more its suppressed, the more violent it becomes. Every cell in the brains shouts something different, its a chaos. Just a chaos. Not just heart but mind too behaves capriciously. sometimes comatose, at other times drugged with madness. At those times, life hurts. And a lot.
Friday 22 September 2006

Mirror Mirror, tell me all !!!

Have you ever noticed how integral part of our lives is formed by a mirror..I noticed this courtesy a full length mirror placed just near my hostel's water cooler. I was filling my water bottle and just noticed how everyone passing by never failed to peek a glance at the mirror.. or at themselves..

What urges us gals to keep looking at themselves??

Even when they have just got up from bed and are in a mess.. still they would look into the mirror and smile at how relaxed they look.. *I do that :)*.. Girls almost always give a small touch up to their dresses in front of mirror even when everything was already in place.. Skirts will be pulled down (or up :D ) shirts and straps will be brought into right place.. hair will again be brushed.. make-up will be given a small touch up too..
The funniest part being nothing will look the same after 5 minutes.. not a single thing.. yet we just cant give up the urge to do our best to look the best... You can always tell if the girl is going out to meet someone special, by noticing the time for which she stays in front of mirror.. & by how many times she come back to see herself in the mirror.. *hehehehe*

And by the way has anyone noticed how many time you go in front of mirror to check which accessory match with the dress or which colours suit my mood today?? That is such a girlie thing.. * :) * I have about 100+ earrings and still have to look at the dress and myself and the earring together to feel satisfied that they go well together :) and i absolutely love doing that :)
And i wonder do guys do anything like this?? standing in front of mirror to look at themselves??

Mirror shows just a reflection of how you look, i so hope it could also give a reflection of what you are.. "Looking at yourself in mirror isn't exactly the study of life".. Have you ever looked into a mirror with some questions for yourself.. some introspection? I have never tried it but have heard from a friend that its a nice experience..

And in the end a quite interesting qoute/question i found--

"Who sees the human face correctly: the photographer, the mirror, or the painter?"

And i sincerely couldnt come up with an answer..
Wednesday 20 September 2006

Which type is ur's


Interesting observations by Psychiatrist Dr. Frank Caprio.He gives the following breakdown:


If you throw your clothes all over the house, you are a friendly,
life-of-the-party type.
You are: free with your thoughts and opinions, not caring much about
what others think of you.


If you remove each piece of clothing and put it away carefully, you are
a serious person who likes life very calm.
You are: comfortable with routine and you believe that the best way to
deal with life's problems is to prevent them in the first place.


You methodically remove your shoes and socks beforeyou begin undressing.
You are: a perfectionist, a bit shy, observant, dependable, intense and
think before making decisions. You go about your tasks methodically,
with concentration. You know how to pay attention.


You take off the shirt and ten minutes later get around to taking off
your pants or skirt.
You are: extremely self-confident, intellectual, a deep thinker and
don't like to be hassled. Usually you like a lot of free time for yourself.


You get out of your clothes as quickly as possible.
You are: concerned about others and what they expect from you but
you're worried about your own needs. You are family-oriented and stay
extremely busy.


You take off your rings, watch, etc. before anything else.
You are: warm, thoughtful, sensitive and romantic.


You never undress the same way twice.
You are: a very curious, interesting person and you enjoy a broad range
of activities. You take risks and enjoy fun and adventure.

Interesting.. isnt it? :)
My type is -- jewelry off first undresser and haphazard dresser too.. no wonder my room is always in a mess with my clothes lying everywhere :D .. so whats urs?
Saturday 16 September 2006

I say a little prayer for you....

Well, tomorrow went out not so well for me.. i had a project submission, an altercation with the teacher concerned and a bad bad mood.. I felt all lonely yday.. i mean i always have someone to talk to.. yday i felt i have none..
So i started my day today with a chat with my best friend, who's miles away in US right now.. but it made me feel better :) and then i wished happy bday to a fren :)
and when i came back from my classes, i surfed youtube and saw this video.. i sooooo love this scene from the movie "My best friend's wedding".. i ended watching this video for atleast 10 times and i think if i had played it for some more time, my neighours would have come and told me to shut up.. ( i was singing too.. hehehe.. ) And i am so so so so happy that i m putting it on my blog and i wanto end up watching this again n again :) :)

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little pray for you
While combing my hair now,
And wondering what dress to wear now,
I say a little prayer for you

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever, we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only meen heartbreak for me.

I run for the bus, dear,
While riding I think of us, dear,
I say a little prayer for you.
At work I just take time
And all through my coffee break-time,
I say a little prayer for you.

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me.

I say a little prayer for you

I say a little prayer for you

My darling believe me, ( beleive me)
For me there is no one but you!
Please love me too (answer his pray)
And I'm in love with you (answer his pray)
Answer my prayer now babe (answer his pray)

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me (oooooooooh)
Wednesday 13 September 2006

Life at its best

I'm so laid back these days.. just enjoying my life.. reading romantic novels :) listening to music all day, even while i am asleep.. going to dance-workshops in nights.. attending meetings for my clubs and writing something for editorials in upcoming annual college-book...doing yoga daily in the wee hours of morning :) And yesterday I made some greeting cards too.. just dunno whom to post.. :) And i feel like Mc Donald's ad-line, "I'm loving it".. :)

Just one hitch!! My room is in total mess!! I need atleast 5 hours to get everything back into place.. But on secomd thoughts thats not really a bad thing.. atleast my life is not a mess..
Saturday 9 September 2006

Never believed this could happen

I was so very upset during my travel to delhi today morning.. A guy, who was very indecent looking types, sat beside me... when ofcourse half of the bus was empty... I tried to completely ignore him, but he was such a looser that i cant even describe my feelings when he sat with me.. He just kept staring me.. i mean what was his problem?? I was soo tempted to ask him, "Hey have you never seen a girl before or what?".. It was 5:30 a.m. in the morning, so i safely
assumed acting to be asleep will be a good idea.. but NO this guy was so adamant at having some chit-chat with me that wanted to give him a chanta (slap).. He started by asking from where are u coming, which he undoubtedly knew cos we boarded the bus at same place!! Then he started asking about where r u going!! which too he knew wen i bought the ticket for delhi.. Then he was soo interested in knowing why am i not studying in Delhi that i wanted to kick him.. it was none of his business.. I replied that my college is one of the best ones!! And then you wont believe what he said.. "Oh!! People come in here through donations!!" and donations my foot, my college is one of the few colleges in india which dont even support sponsored seats.. each n every student has to go through a strict screening process.. i myself slogged to get in there and faced interview before getting admission.. He was so-so adamant at keep on talking to me that he even said something like "You are so intelligent".. As if he knows a lot about me, and he contd for half an hour with his monologues.. and he was so irritating that when i dint answer him or pretend to be asleep he kept on repeating his question till i say something..
And you know you havent even heard the worst part.. His gaze and his gestures... He continuously kept coming closer to me.. I had to ask him to move several times over.. and he kept on slipping towards me again n again.. And he tried to move his hands closer to my boobs.. while talkin he'll invariably bring his mouth closer.. and when he asked a question, his gaze would always drop down to you-know-what.. I felt so so unconfortable during that 1 hr he sat on my neighouring seat.. gosh, i was so relieved to know he isnot going to tortutre me through out the journey.. After he left , some aunteeji came.. which though very lousy was anytime better than the previous chap..

I can never understand why some guys come down to such a cheap level? Is this the reason people usually call an unsafe place for girls to stay? I felt very bad after the incident.. I felt like covering myself up with something like a burqa to evade his penetrating eyes.. It felt like i am not even decently covered up.. Felt like protecting myself..

Friday 8 September 2006


What is it with people these days!! Every one in this world seem to be worrying about my marriage. Especially the aunties who have no better work except to say this guy is good.. he earns so and so.. no one comes and say he is a nice guy or he can keep you happy.. All that matters is he has a fat paycheck and maybe a good looking face..

One more *irritating* thing everyone keeps saying, in one way or the other, you will be leaving your job one day, so why think so much about your career.. and not just the aunties but 2 of my guy-batchmates also hold the same view.. Why being a girl, thinking about career is such a big deal? and why do these guys thought a women should leave her job after sometime to be happy and caring towards her family life!! AND why dont they think they too will have to share some responsibilities.. but they wont think of leaving their jobs.. will they??

I have worked hard to get where i am today and i got a job because i am capable of the work this company needs from its employees. To think of leaving the job to do household work is stupidity in my sense.. I didnot studied so much to let all my knowledge go into dustbin.. I know of a few girls too who think this way.. they say,"Family first".. as if family and career are two mutually exclusive things.. If girla themselves can think in derogative way for their careers, what can be expected from others anyways..

My parents laugh at me when i tell them i'll marry someone who will help me in everything, including to do daily chores like cooking n cleaning.. We are sharing lives, so why not share responsibilities too.. is it so odd to want to share such tiny-winy thing with your partner?? huh!!

And people please dont get offended if you dont agree with any point.. i am NOT speaking about you, but a few ppl i recently met/talked with..
Tuesday 5 September 2006

I feel so good

i am feeling so good right now.. since last few days i was planning to wake up early and go for a jog.. but lazy bum is wat i have become.. never woke up before 8:30 am.. :) ahh sleep is soo wonderful.. and my bed is such a sweet abode of, umm, my laziness!!! feel like sleeping again.. :)
anyways, back to feeling good, today i woke up at 5:30, albeit with heavy door thomping and wat not, by my devilish friend whom i mistakenly promised yesterday, that i'll go with her for a jog.. 3 more people told her that they will come.. she woke up at 5:30 and started to broke their sweet sweet dreamzz.. and unfortunately mine was the last room in row ( from her room ).. everyone else said NO.. i mean this is soooo very wrong.. they told her they'll come and how could they refuse.. just how could they?? and in the end i was made her scapegoat... she started banging at my door when i ignored her calling me.. she made me go with her :(((
so i half-heartedly and half-sleepily got ready and went to jogging grounds.. it had been ages since i last saw a sunrise.. which is as always wonderful.. i particularly like the color palatte nature forms on sky.. next time i'll click a pic too :) so i jogged for 1.6 kms.. usually i do more but today i was all out of breath.. i think it could be because of terrible cold/cough um having.. i had viral in last few days.. After the jog i did some stretching.. and i was happy that i have not lost flexibility :) :) and then i went for yoga class.. i wasnt aware there is one going on in our campus, the athletics coach told me and then i went there.. it was good actually.. by the time i reached, class was almost done and they were about to start the relaxing excercises.. and that the reason i am feeeling sooo good now :)
Lying on the floor, closed eyes, breathing slowly and deeply, listening to sir's words-- like feel your breathing.. see your stomach going up and down.. :) imagine to release all your worries and negative thoughts.. collect energy from surroundings.. things like this.. it was a wonderful experience.. and most amazing part was, after a few breaths i started to remember things i need to do after coming back to my room, right then he said.. stop thinking about other things and be mentally present with yourself.. :) After this all of us sat in a circle holding each other's hands and chanted "OM" for sometime.. it was wonderful to feel the energy around us and it felt just so out of the world experience :)
And see i am so smiley smiley now, that i have left soooo many :)'s in this post.. and i had to delete some of them otherwise this post was looking like a smiling chimpanzee.. :))

And the pics i told ya i'll be posting-- The painting is 2' X 3' ( i think this ' is for feet.. correct me if um wrong..) Ceramic is a powder which is kneaded with an adhesive, like fevicol, and the final dough is used as clay for making various shapes, like the leaves on top and the pillars of the temple.. Then i painted this with oil paints and finally used varnished to give it a glossy look.. and the silver, golden work was done after applying the varnish...

The flower- vase is about 2.5' high, here instead of making dough with ceramics, a thik paste was made and filled into cones.. all the work, except for the roses and leaf pattern/ yellow rope pattern, was done with cone.. and 2-3 coats were given to give it some height.. Stones were used to give that embroidery look on the bride's lehnga, the red dress.. The lower portion of the vase is studded :) with different sized-shaped-colored stones..