Sunday, 5 February 2006


She stretched her arms further into the darkness, as if she could catch him there. But, she forgot, people dont come to you like that. The emptiness overtook her mind. Again. Her eyes kept staring at the silhouetteof darkness. Her ears listening to the echo of nothing. Her skin still feeling the touch of warm air. Her cheeks embracing the coolness of something wet. was she crying? She doesnt know.. She doesnt remember.. For she was blank, She was numb with pain, She could sense nothing except the nonchalant void.

That night passed away, slowly, wrapped indifferently in the aura of sadness around her. Morning came but didnt bother to ask her before coming. "Wakeup", it says to everybody, but not to her, not today, not when she is 'down and out' with an heartache, she cant bear to carry.

Days passed on. World went on in its own ways, she did too. Like a robot, sans emotions, she did what she was supposed to do. Going to office, working, having meals, coming back and then sleeping. She did everything but forgot to smile. It bewildered her, to see her friends smile. How could they? Dont they feel the sadness? Dont they feel lonely? They were his friends too, dont they feel the loss so immense?

Sometimes she wished she could turn around time and ask him not to go out to get the red roses, for she doesnt need them anymore. She woke up numerous times in the night, slightly quivering, by the sight of red roses and red blood. His red blood. As red as the red saree she bought to wear next month on their wedding.

Then, one day came the sunshine from between the grey-est of clouds. Her new boss came in the office. He quickly became apple of everyone's eye, not because he was dashing but because of his gentle n jolly nature. He made everyone smile. There was only one person with whom he never conversed with, except for the office matter. Our very own "She"..

Whenever he tried to have a colloquy with her, all he ever got was a yes-no answer. He never gave up trying though, he couldnt, he was deeply intrigued by this lady, who was as efficient as one could be in doing her work but never smiled. He never knew why but it became his covert desire to make her smile, to see her happy.

She noticed too. She tried not to see him when he arrived in the office. She felt peculiar, constatntly aware of his presence. She tried to avoid him, yet looked for him when he was not around. Her eyes longed to see his glowing face, always full of enthusiasm. He became the mark of everything she felt had died in her, her feelings were totally complemented by his. Maybe that was the reason she felt the need to see him every now and then, to remind her, there is still happiness left in the world.

One day, while carrying her coffee she banged into him, spoiled his shirt, and on seeing his astonished look, she smiled. They parted ways, for everyone it was just another small incident, but for them it was everything.

"She smiled... did she actually? or was it just my imagination", thought jubiliated he. He felt on top of this world. His mission accomplished.
"I smiled..", She thought too. She was relieved that she could smile too, she has not forgotten. For the rest of day, smile didnot left her lips. She looked like an angel with the best make-up, her smile, she donned after months. In coming days, they both smiled at each other whenever they came face to face. Silent smiles felt more intimate than deep conversations.

Smiles were slowly followed by hellos, then started small talks. "Do you want a coffee?".. "You look nice today".. "I need your help in completing this report".. "Have you cooked your lunch yourself?".. "You presented well in the meeting".. "its late, shall i drop you home today?".. "I went shopping yesterday, i bought this for you, like it?".. "Will you come to dinner with me"..

With each passing day their affection for eath other grew like mushrooms on a wild terrain, uncontrollable. No day went by without witnessing them together in an office meeting or a roadside restaurant.Their work got recognised too,they both got promoted in office. He still remaining her boss. In the evening, when they were celebrating their hardwork, he asked her. He asked her, "Will you marry me?".
She went silent, her past came before her eyes in an instant. Biting back her tears she ran out without saying a word, leaving him guiltridden. He dint knew about her previous engagement, how could he? She never gave him any chance to know her past.

Next week they had to leave to delhi for a conference. An awkward silence had fallen between them. When she saw him she knew not, how to behave. Pass a smile to him or turn her eyes? She did none, just stared at him. He got bewildered, wanted to reach out to her and hug her. Ego, is a very strong repellant in such situations. Both were wishing something to come up so that either one neednot go to delhi.
Like time, destiny doesnt listen to your wishes. They both were on board on same flight, sitting side by side. Their hands stroking each other occasionally. Accidently?

Suddenly she said, "I am sorry". "what?". "I said i am sorry". "Oh, OK".. silence again. His heart missed a beat when she said that. He was already regretting he didnt said more. Moments then minutes passed away in silent contemplations. Before he made up his mind to say something, the flight landed. They drifted away slowly into the crowd.
Rest of their day went un-incidently. After the meeting next day, exhausted, lying on bed, he remembered her. He remembered "us". In next moments, powered by an urge, he went in front of her room. She too opened her room exactly at the same moment. She looked amazed, before she could say anything, He hugged her. "I am sorry too", he heard himself say. Pushed her inside, closed the door behind him and started kissing her. The speed with which it happened left her perplexed. In that single instant she lost her ability to resist, to say no, even to think about anything else other than the lips, on whose wetness she was feeding upon. There is only a limited limit to which one can resist the ultimate pleasure.

One by one clothes came out. It was not clear, whether he was leading her or she was pushing him. Both were equally drawn, equally guilty in the game of love and lust. When he saw her nude, lying in front of him, he didnot see her beutiful body, her glowing skin or the fullerness of her breasts. All he saw was the greed in her eyes, the dance of her tongue, her shameless smile. He filled her with his manhood. He gave himself to her, he gave her a part of himself, not just physically. They moved together, giving each other the rich pleasure. It never occured to them that it was their first time. They knew each other's body just too well. And after the final blow, they rested, in each other's arm, feeling their heart beats.

Lying in his arms, feeling his stomach moving steadily with his breath, she felt whole. Her mind wandering in the backlanes of her memory. A single smile had the power to change her. That sole smile had the power to make her fall in love, not only with him, but with life. Her life became beautiful again.

When some goes away, you dont have to go with them. Love never dies, Juda hoke bhi tu mujhme kahi baaki hai. Life always gives second chances, but dont let them go waste. Fall in love and see the beauty of the most beautiful feeling in this world.

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